you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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