1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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