is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
