her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize