I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
