His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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