Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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