We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
