you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
