is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
