I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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