Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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