Tell her she can't have a vagina
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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