I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
