i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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