yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize