Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
