Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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