careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
