Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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