I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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