For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
