I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
