she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
