there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
