Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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