The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My penis needs a shock collar
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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