I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
