Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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