i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
