did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
