My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize