thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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