Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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