It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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