Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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