Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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