I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize