He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
