So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
