So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize