Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
