there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
