I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
