i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
