i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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