# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
