I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
