sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
