I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize