at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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