I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
