NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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