She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
