chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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