Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I touched a dick in church today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
