Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
