What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
