I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
