Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize